If &When

Priya has planned weddings for eleven years, and she says the job is really just a long chain of 'if' clauses. 'If it rains, we'll move the ceremony under the marquee. If the marquee floods, we'll move it into the barn. If the barn's double-booked, we'll rent a second one — but that only happens unless we've planned properly in the first place.' Every plan she makes has a backup plan, and every backup has its own condition attached.

The hardest part, she says, isn't the weather — it's timing. 'As soon as the ceremony finishes, the caterers need forty minutes before the food's ready. Until they're ready, the guests need somewhere to be, doing something, so they don't just stand around getting hungry and awkward. Before the speeches start, everyone needs a drink in hand. After the first dance, the band needs exactly enough time to swap the playlist.' Priya works entirely in sequences: this happens, then that happens, then the next thing happens — and if one link breaks, the whole chain shifts.

What surprised her most, starting out, was how much of the job is managing expectations with conditional promises. 'I never say “it'll be perfect”. I say, “If the weather holds, you'll have the outdoor ceremony you want. Unless something unexpected comes up, everything will run exactly to the timeline.” People need honesty more than certainty.'

Her favourite trick, after all these years, is a single sentence she gives every couple: 'Unless you tell me otherwise, I'll assume the plan we agreed is final — so if anything changes, get in touch with me as soon as possible, and I'll adjust before it's too late.' It's a first conditional and two future time clauses in one breath, and it has saved, she reckons, at least a dozen weddings from disaster.